me: hi i'd like to order sweet and sour chicken, some beef frie-
chinese restaurant: do u want egg roll
me: i didn't even finish my order
chinese restaurant: *to the chef* Zhīfáng měiguó xīwàng dàn juǎn
me: what
Source: bleakparadise via
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humorqueen:

if you’re hot, you’ll get an automatic follow.

Source: humorqueen via

sometimes i forget that a lot of you have never heard my voice and i wonder what kind of voice you picture me having omg

Source: alexander-williamgaskarth via

*dramatically closes 2006 flip phone*

Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight via

davethebarbarian:

if you use my colored pencils you better put them back in rainbow order

Source: bowlingforsoup via
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hitmonchan:

i get anxiety thinking about meeting a celebrity and getting a picture with them and then looking ugly in the picture

Source: hitmonchan via

vegay:

do not laugh behind me because i will think you are laughing about me

Source: vegay via

do you guys realize we can change our lives any time we want like you can just go ahead and delete ur blog, stop eating meat, shave or head, start running, tell that person you hate why you hate them so much, confess your love to someone and kiss them unexpectedly like why don’t we do that

Source: uoa via
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